The Party Trick That Opens Your Heart

 The Mess

At 50, I'd run out of ideas, and was withdrawing into myself. Friends and loved ones were drowning in chronic disease, and I didn’t know how to help. Mental illness, substance abuse, cancer, inflammation, all sorts of shut-down behaviors punched holes in their lives. No one makes it past midlife without starting to break down: expect it. That’s what I heard. So? Keep grinding, and here’s a prescription or expensive intervention. Should I just watch it all tumble down? Were the remedies only in the hands of the specialists? Or could I make difference? (We all need a clear role in a crisis.) I got no concrete answers.

Waking Up

But like a kid tugging on my sleeve I’d notice now and then, something told me there was more. More power within us. More ability to take control. More to life than reaching retirement with some chronic condition to manage. Maybe it was the unicorns I'd observe occasionally- the hale and hardy 70-year old, perhaps hiking, perhaps skiing; laughing, engaged, energized. Or maybe it was a gift from my mom, who’d been a warrior for positivity. Or maybe it was some innocence I’d held onto - a belief that we choose our feelings and actions. Two friends dying at 50, though, told me I had no time left to waste. I couldn’t just hide. I had to make a change. I had to find a way to help. And I thought my help would be advice. But it ended up being action.

A Challenge That Opened Me

The Wim Hof Method - breathwork, mindset, and cold exposure - started as a challenge for me, another hard and nutty thing that most people wouldn’t try. CrossFitters told me, “You can do more pushups holding your breath than breathing normally!,” and podcasts had Wim leaving hosts amazed at their breatholds, the buzzy peacefulness they felt after a round of his breathing. Then I found Wim’s Cold Shower Challenge online - build to a minute over a few weeks. It looked hard and uncomfortable. So I did it. I felt victorious. Then I looked for something even more rigorous: Wim's ten-week online course.

No half-assing that level of commitment. 10-minute cold showers for a week?! I'm in! And I loved it- the measurable achievements: numbers, durations, temperatures. I held my breath for 5 minutes!

And as I pursued harder and harder goals, the parts started to align. I saw that the breathing and cold work together, along with intention, to let you manage difficult situations. At home, day after day, I huffed and puffed on the living room floor, and used up all the ice in the freezer. I did things that looked like yoga. I lay quiet on my mat sometimes afterward, just happy.

Six months later, drawn like a kid chasing an ice cream truck, I completed the demanding instructor training, capped by climbing a snow-covered mountain in November in Colorado with Wim in just boots and shorts. His openness, his childish sense of play, his deep learning, and his own healing journey were an unexpected beacon. And I started to see that the practice was healing me too, was bringing me a strength and comfort I’d almost lost contact with. I was part of a tribe. I was also burning fat; my mood was stabilizing; I was a nicer, more fun person. My heart was opening.

The Hook

So challenge and science first drew me in, but the light in others is what hooked me; their hearts, shining out, meeting mine. In my first workshops, many felt great, energized, freer, after the breathwork and ice.We'd hug and smile and everyone always left happy at their achievements.. When a friend who had been struggling with weight gain and an overwhelming sense of inadequacy broke into smiles and tears of gratitude and simple joy in the ice, that got me for good. She lit up. I knew then that I was doing more than teaching some nifty physical tricks. I’d created the space for her to reach a depth she’d longed for; a relief she’d needed for years, a sense of control. Deeply. In a frightening situation. And she’d done it with her breath, and mindset, in an afternoon. She was choosing how to feel, right then, right there. I was transforming lives.

So How’s This Work?

It goes like this: a few rounds of super-ventilating breath work (huff and puff) set up your body; your mindset prepares your brain. Your pain response is reduced, you are alkalized, your monkey mind is calmed and focused. You have faith in your body. Then set your intention, tell yourself “I’m going in”, and step fully into the ice bath; all the way in, one move. 6 or so raggedy breaths almost always follow; then you settle as you focus on your out-breath. Your breathing calms, you gain control, you drop the barrier between yourself and the world, and you realize that you are ok. In fact, it’s a beautiful day. Total impact onyour day? At its most basic, 10 mins for breathwork, 3 minutes for ice bath, 5 or so minutes for recovery.

In a huge rush? 3 mins of breathwork by itself can be a big reset.

At Home In Your Own Skin

I mean, how many of you want to sit in an ice bath for three minutes? Raise hands, be honest. In a room of a hundred, maybe one. Probably zero. But we all want to be happy and comfortable. If your comfort zone is 68-72 degrees, if your anxiety triggers are increasing in number and reactivity, if you are spending more and more time *this far* from a blue-light-emitting screen, walking perhaps 1/2 a mile total in a day, spending most of your time sitting or driving, your comfort zone is probably crashing down on top of you right now. So you should “meditate”. Right. How do I start that? Sit here and don’t think. Gah! Not. Working. How about yoga? Everyone says I should do yoga. Yes. That feels better. That does help. But I can’t hit down-dog in a work meeting, when I need it most. What’s available full-time, everywhere?

Breath.

So, um- breathe to feel better? Yes!

But then, you can train your breathing so you feel better under increasingly difficult circumstances. And when you learn to stay calm in ice, a very difficult circumstance, you gain a massive dose of anti-inflammation, fat-burning, and neuro-protective benefits. Your circulatory system gets a workout that comfort-zone people never get. And most of all, you feel in control, open, alive, zingy, vibrant, connected, and ready. Because you sat in ice. And breathed through it. And smiled.